I bought a flight-case to take to North Carolina today. Being a fool, I bought one a size too small and will now have to take it back and exchange it. I phoned the shop, and they assumed I was calling them fools. But I reassured them it was I and not them who was a few suits short of a wardrobe.
When I got home, I went to buy some flea-killing tablets that you feed a cat. One of the members of my household was worried in case the tablets poisoned the cats as well as the fleas. Not in a pretty pink box with kittens on, I confidently replied. But then I thought, what a good disguise for poison! A pink box with kittens on it!
On the way to the pet shop I passed two African boys throwing crab-apples they'd picked up from the pavement at each other. 'Not while I'm walking past', I said. 'Sorry', they said. They stopped till I'd gone, and then I could hear the pelting each other furiously behind me.
Next, I saw a person who looked just like Mick Hucknall walking along with a budgie cage, looking very embarrassed. Do you think Mick Hucknall has a terrible nerdy secret? Perhaps he breeds budgies privately in a little semi in Barnet, watching them nut their little bells and gobble up seeds from a pressed seed-ring before haring off to play at Wembley to hordes of screaming middle aged ladies. Ha ha Mick! I know your secret! Give me a million pounds this instant or I will tell the News of the World!
What else? Well, I been playing my ukelele and fumbling a few chords on the piano. The new album, Polyhymnia, is nearly finished, just waiting for a little bit of sax from Paul, a little bit of guitar from Martin and perhaps a pinch of cello (Allan back again) to finish it off. Diana told me off for wanting to make a shapeless green jumper that looked like the nettle clothes for the cover photo. She says I've got to look glamorous so perhaps I'll ask Debbi if I can borrow one of her dresses. I want to find a perfect location to do the pics, but I'll have to listen to the music first to see where it tells me to go.